What Parents Can Expect When Their Child Starts Therapy
This post is for parents who are interested in getting their child started in therapy and are curious about what to expect. Setting realistic expectations about therapy before getting started helps set the foundation for the work ahead. In this blog post, I’ll cover what therapy is, what to expect, and what parents can do to support their child in therapy.
Types of Therapy for Children
Children might need to come to therapy to address any number of challenges that are impacting their daily life and causing distress for themselves or others. There’s different types of therapy for children such as play therapy, art therapy, or cognitive-behavioral therapy. Typically, these therapies are offered individually. There’s also family therapy or parent-child interaction therapy (typically ages 2-7), where the therapist will meet with the child as well as parent(s). Groups for children with similar goals who are within the same age range are also an option.
What Parents Can Expect
When We First Meet
The intake process comes first, when therapists meet with parents or caregivers for a full session to go deeper into history/background. An intake is focused on the parent(s) sharing detailed information/background history on their child in order to determine next steps. A therapist will also go over logistics, such as practice policies and procedures, frequency of sessions, communication preferences, cancellation policy, billing procedures, etc.
A thorough assessment is essential in creating an effective treatment plan. Typically, I invite parents to work with me in developing goals for their child in therapy.
Sometimes, the outcome of the intake is determining that another route would best serve the child's needs - a psychological assessment, a different kind of therapy, parent coaching- in which case, a plan will be made to take those next steps together.
After an intake is complete, a therapist will schedule a first session for your child.
The First Few Weeks of Therapy
The first few weeks are focused on establishing a strong sense of trust and rapport; like building a house, therapy also needs a strong foundation in order for everything else to flourish.
It’s important to keep in mind that pushing therapy to go faster can disrupt the therapeutic relationship.
Therapists foster a safe environment by utilizing many techniques including but not limited to: active listening, empathic attunement, curiosity, authenticity, limits/boundaries, and opportunities for co-regulation, containment, and creative self-expression.
Research has shown that the single most important determinant of successful therapy is having a strong therapeutic relationship. Some studies have shown that it takes anywhere from 3-6 months for a strong alliance to be formed.
Engagement and Receptivity
Children need to actively participate in therapy for it to be effective. While it’s typical for a child to be resistant in the beginning, this should eventually subside as the trust builds.
If a child isn’t participating, unable to speak about their goals, or unable/unwilling to collaborate, therapists should be able to assist with the next steps to take. It’s not a negative; it’s simply more information, and we use it to best support a child.
Parents can support the therapeutic process by reinforcing goals at home and speaking with their child’s therapist about ways to do so.
Goals: Maintaining, Progressing, and Regressing
Working towards any goal is non-linear. We usually take a couple of steps forward, one step back, one to the side… and another forward. Progress is never perfect!
Setbacks are part of the process and are to be expected. Parents can normalize and support setbacks for their child if/when it happens.
Check-ins and Communication with Parents
Every therapist has a different style of offering regular check-ins to share progress, concerns, questions, etc. It could be a call, joining in for part of a child’s session, or having a separate session to dive deeper into strategies and skills to implement at home.
Children don’t always share openly and readily with their therapist. Accompanying your child in the first few minutes of a session can offer some extra support.
What Should Not Be Expected
A Quick Fix
Therapy is a process and requires a commitment of resources.
Progression usually looks non-linear (mentioned above) so patience and awareness on this is key. Setting realistic expectations from the start can help with moments of frustration or eagerness to reach a goal.
Generalized Skills
Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s individualized to each child’s unique strengths, abilities, and needs.
Building skills and strategies is one aspect of therapy; however, teaching skills each session isn’t psychotherapy (and often, doesn’t feel engaging for a child or teen).
Skills are integrated into sessions as needed and as appropriate. The methods, materials, and interventions are going to be different for each child.
Individual > Collaborative
The outcome of therapy depends on parents, child, and therapist. It’s collaborative and requires effort from all sides.
Parents who have a solid understanding of what to expect are generally able to provide deeper support to their child who is in therapy.
The idea that the outcome of therapy relies on the therapist is false. Therapy is collaborative and requires the family to work together to start to see change happen.
For All Challenges to Disappear
Children who come to therapy are there to learn skills to cope as well as develop their strengths and find new ways to think and respond in the face of challenges.
While no one wants to see a child in distress, therapy isn’t about getting rid of an emotion or a strong response. It’s about exploring why the emotion is there and getting curious about how we might better cope with it.
When Your Child is in Therapy
Encourage open communication and emotional expression.
Support your child through encouraging communication and emotional expression. Offer to join them in session for a few minutes if you sense/if they share that something is difficult to talk about.
Create a supportive home environment where there is adequate structure, boundaries, and consistency of verbalizations and actions.
Practice any techniques or skills at home together if applicable.
Ask your child’s therapist questions and verbalize concerns at any time.
Make time for your own self-regulation through practices and skills as a parent.
Conclusion
Children often enjoy therapy! It’s an opportunity to express themselves openly and learn new skills.
Therapy is a collaborative effort where everyone is responsible for the outcome. Parents often benefit from gaining new tools, too.
Trusting the process can be difficult for anyone. We all want children to feel better and make progress as quickly as possible. Parents who are on-board and set realistic expectations for their child’s therapeutic experience will have the best outcomes.
Art Therapy for Children
If you have interest or questions about getting your child started in art therapy, reach out below.
